When All Else Fails
Sometimes life has a way of derailing your best laid plans. My plan was to write at least one blog post a week. That did not happen recently, in part because my laptop decided to die.
It died at a really inopportune time, and in a suspicious manner. Not in a “who-dunnit” suspicious manner whereby the police, Scotland Yard, and Interpol issue an all-points bulletin to be on the lookout for the killer. I already knew the identity of the killer. It was me. But in my defense I thought I had just maimed it.
I was sitting down to write a marketing proposal for a local property management company when I noticed that the keyboard of my laptop was really gross. It had the kind of dust between the keys that becomes clearly visible once you have to do something important and you are procrastinating. THAT kind of dust.
I grabbed a dry cloth and ran it across the keyboard a few times, making sure that I not only got all the dust out, but that I also could not type with my keyboard any more. It was that clean.
Lesson learned. Never clean anything ever again.
I decided that I must have inadvertently pressed some sequence of keys that caused my keyboard to lock and that this would be an easy fix. The next two days were spent, with the help of a friend, Googling solutions. I tried everything, including having a Caesar for inspiration. You would think that would have done the trick. I mean, look at it. So refreshing.
I finally had to admit defeat and took my laptop to my friend’s computer guy. He pronounced it dead. It turns out the hard drive was on its way out, and I guess pressing all the keys at once pushed it over the edge.
But I still had that marketing proposal to write, and no laptop with which to write said proposal. So I did what any sane person would do. I wrote my proposal in an email using my cell phone. My tiny little cell phone using my big, fat thumbs. It took as many hours, and Caesars, as you might imagine.
Not only did I send a completely unprofessional marketing proposal, but I followed that up with an equally unprofessional interview to discuss my proposal. Because why do anything properly at this point?
To put it all in perspective for you, I met the owner of the property management company after I had cleaned some of their empty rental units. I have my own little cleaning business. Please don’t get too impressed about this. It’s not quite as glamorous as it sounds, even though there are normally toilets involved.
After my massive life change four years ago, I found myself between careers. I was having trouble finding a job that would allow me to live in an actual apartment and eat real food, so I did what a lot of people in my position do. I took on a survival job. Cleaning paid the bills and allowed me to start rebuilding while I figured out what I want to be when I grow up. *Spoiler alert. I want to be a writer. Or a princess.
Back to the unprofessional interview. The owner of the company asked if I could come and clean his office space as it was in the midst of renovations and then we could sit down and talk about the marketing proposal.
That was wonderful, and not wonderful, all at the same time. I mean, yes I would happily do both. But, what does one wear to an interview in which one has just scrubbed the interviewer’s toilet mere minutes before sitting down to talk? Is there a fashion protocol for such a situation? Jeans and a t-shirt with bleach stains? High heels? A power suit? A power suit with bleach stains? What kind of marketing business attire pairs well with Lysol toilet bowl cleaner? Google failed me, once again. Drinking another Caesar, while delicious, failed me again as well.
I decided to just show up with clothes on and hope for the best.
It turns out I was worried for nothing. I will now be filling some recently empty slots in my cleaning schedule with part-time marketing for the property management company.
My laptop and Google may have failed me, but it turns out that a Caesar is pretty handy when toasting success.