Call Me Grandma
I became a grandma for the first time this past August 11th, and what they say about being a grandparent is completely true. Now that I’m officially an expert on the subject I can confirm that it is THE best.
I proudly introduce my granddaughter, Blair.
Well, part of her. These are her feet, as you may have guessed by the cute little toes.
I purposefully didn’t post a picture of her face because:
A) Her parents don’t want her posted on social media yet
B) She’s so beautiful she might cause the internet to crash, causing social and economic ruin
C) She’s in the witness protection program
If you guessed either A or B, you are correct. C is just silly. Newborns can’t focus beyond about 10” so it’s highly unlikely that Blair has witnessed any crimes, other than not being fed the second she becomes hungry.
I wasn’t prepared for how intensely I would love my grandchild. I thought that level of love was reserved for your feelings for your own child and yet there I was, just moments after witnessing her birth, finding myself falling madly in love. Blair is almost two-months-old and I still get choked up when I hold her and have to pretend I have something in my eye.
My cell phone storage is now completely filled with baby pictures. I get multiple Snapchat photos and videos every day, and I have become THAT grandparent who makes everyone look at endless photos.
“Have I shown you my granddaughter’s picture lately? Oh, I showed them to you yesterday? Well, you MUST see the ones from today. She’s changed so much.”
I drop by as often as I dare without risk of being labeled a stalker. We have lively conversations that centre mainly around poop. Pooping, eating, and sleeping are Blair’s favourite past-times, so we naturally talk about all three of those things a lot. Like, a lot. A. Lot.
Recently we added a new topic to the conversation. Smiling. Blair, not us. We’ve been doing that since the day she was born. Blair just recently caught up to us on that one.
We work really hard to get Blair to smile at us, and she usually does if we perform our little hearts out for her like a finalist from America’s Got Talent. But often we notice that something else is far more entertaining and funny than we could ever hope to be.
Apparently, this particular light fixture is the latest and greatest in stand-up comedy. I think she likes it because it looks like a gigantic boob. There is nothing more heartwarming than when a baby looks right past you and smiles and coos. I’m not quite sure how we’re going to compete.
Since her birth, I’ve been asked what I am going to be called. I know there are a lot of choices now, but I guess I’m a traditionalist. I called my grandmother Grandma, and my mom was Grandma, and both of those ladies were pretty cool, so that’s what I’m going with.
Besides, I pretty much have to be Grandma because that’s what their dog calls me and I don’t want to confuse him.